Living With Anxiety

It's hard to write a blog post on a subject that I can't exactly describe to myself. For around 4 to 5 years I have dealt with, and still dealing with, anxiety. In my opinion, the root of my anxiety developed from many different occasions and experiences, mostly happening after the age of 13.

My anxiety at the moment is effecting many parts of my life, these being; 

University and my assignments.

Hobbies and blogging.

Relationships with those around me.

The way that I view myself. 

I am not one to share my deep down personal life on the internet, maybe in time I will, but right now it's not something I plan to do. I want to share with people that may suffer with anxiety or even those who do not themselves that it's okay to feel anxious. I find I put a lot of pressure on myself to not feel anxious, the more pressure I put on myself to seem 'happier' the more I begin to feel deflated, it is hard work. There are people I know personally that have overcome the mental illness, anxiety will always lurk around you but it can be controlled, which those around me are helping me to grasp the technique of. 

There will come a time when someone may tell you to "Put a smile on your face" or "There are people worse off than you". It may feel patronising and it may feel like a personal hit to your self esteem, but talking about how you feel and how your anxiety makes you feel will not only help those who do not fully understand the subject, but it helps you get that elephant feeling of your chest and the butterflies flee from your stomach, even if its only for a couple of hours, its still a big help. 

I could pull up a google definition of what anxiety is, but everyone deals with it and feels it in many different ways. Some may have to talk themselves out of the struggle to go outside and others may experience anxiety with the thought of a job interview. We all experience this sense of worry and nervousness and its okay. Talk to people, whether its a friend, family member, teacher or someone that specialises in the area, its normal to talk and ask for help, its human nature. 

Most of the time I experience the anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach, the feeling of butterflies that I mentioned earlier. This is what I have most days, I could be sat having coffee or lunch with my closest friends and feel this way or sometimes I could be sat in a university lecture and the stress of my assignments builds it up. Other times I have what is known as palpitations, the only way that I could describe this is that your heart feels like its racing at 1000mph and that it'll explode any second, or sometimes feels as though someone has hold of it and it squeezing every last beat it has. It an awful feeling because the more you panic the more adrenalin your body pumps and makes it beat even faster, your body goes into 'panic mode', which can then follow from a horrid panic attack. Not nice.

When I feel like this there are a few ways I try to take my mind of things, one being finding a way to relax, I've previously wrote a blog post on 5 ways to relax when feeling anxious, read that here.
Other ways I like to take my mind of feeling 'under the weather' are long walks. I like to take myself away from the place or situation, whether I'm taking the dog for a walk or even just a 5 minute walk to the corner shop, whatever it is its a few minutes or hour away from an environment that made me feel trapped and secluded, its one more step forward to overcoming that feeling.

Today I felt anxious, I talked about it over a blogpost and it helped. The weather is rubbish so a dog walk is not on the cards, instead I'm watching a disney film and giving the dog lots of cuddles. 

Rufus

Relaxing environments, for me, are always by the sea

Don't hold back, comment if you've ever felt this way or still do. I'd love to know your opinions and how you may experience it differently. Would you like a bigger post about anxiety and what types there is? Let me know.