Living With Anxiety

It's hard to write a blog post on a subject that I can't exactly describe to myself. For around 4 to 5 years I have dealt with, and still dealing with, anxiety. In my opinion, the root of my anxiety developed from many different occasions and experiences, mostly happening after the age of 13.

My anxiety at the moment is effecting many parts of my life, these being; 

University and my assignments.

Hobbies and blogging.

Relationships with those around me.

The way that I view myself. 

I am not one to share my deep down personal life on the internet, maybe in time I will, but right now it's not something I plan to do. I want to share with people that may suffer with anxiety or even those who do not themselves that it's okay to feel anxious. I find I put a lot of pressure on myself to not feel anxious, the more pressure I put on myself to seem 'happier' the more I begin to feel deflated, it is hard work. There are people I know personally that have overcome the mental illness, anxiety will always lurk around you but it can be controlled, which those around me are helping me to grasp the technique of. 

There will come a time when someone may tell you to "Put a smile on your face" or "There are people worse off than you". It may feel patronising and it may feel like a personal hit to your self esteem, but talking about how you feel and how your anxiety makes you feel will not only help those who do not fully understand the subject, but it helps you get that elephant feeling of your chest and the butterflies flee from your stomach, even if its only for a couple of hours, its still a big help. 

I could pull up a google definition of what anxiety is, but everyone deals with it and feels it in many different ways. Some may have to talk themselves out of the struggle to go outside and others may experience anxiety with the thought of a job interview. We all experience this sense of worry and nervousness and its okay. Talk to people, whether its a friend, family member, teacher or someone that specialises in the area, its normal to talk and ask for help, its human nature. 

Most of the time I experience the anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach, the feeling of butterflies that I mentioned earlier. This is what I have most days, I could be sat having coffee or lunch with my closest friends and feel this way or sometimes I could be sat in a university lecture and the stress of my assignments builds it up. Other times I have what is known as palpitations, the only way that I could describe this is that your heart feels like its racing at 1000mph and that it'll explode any second, or sometimes feels as though someone has hold of it and it squeezing every last beat it has. It an awful feeling because the more you panic the more adrenalin your body pumps and makes it beat even faster, your body goes into 'panic mode', which can then follow from a horrid panic attack. Not nice.

When I feel like this there are a few ways I try to take my mind of things, one being finding a way to relax, I've previously wrote a blog post on 5 ways to relax when feeling anxious, read that here.
Other ways I like to take my mind of feeling 'under the weather' are long walks. I like to take myself away from the place or situation, whether I'm taking the dog for a walk or even just a 5 minute walk to the corner shop, whatever it is its a few minutes or hour away from an environment that made me feel trapped and secluded, its one more step forward to overcoming that feeling.

Today I felt anxious, I talked about it over a blogpost and it helped. The weather is rubbish so a dog walk is not on the cards, instead I'm watching a disney film and giving the dog lots of cuddles. 

Rufus

Relaxing environments, for me, are always by the sea

Don't hold back, comment if you've ever felt this way or still do. I'd love to know your opinions and how you may experience it differently. Would you like a bigger post about anxiety and what types there is? Let me know. 

Mini Haul | Pull&Bear

I recently made a few small purchases on Pull&Bear and I absolutely love them! When I say 'mini haul', I do actually mean mini as I only bought 3 items, nether the less they are worthy for a blog post. 

The first item is a red and navy striped jumper which cost £15.99. I chose this as I thought it would be perfect for the transition from winter to spring as its a thinner material, meaning it's light and not as bulky. I ordered a bigger size so it was a little bit baggier, I love wearing big comfy jumpers over jeans or a leather skirt with some black ankle boots. 

The second item is a striped, can you spot a theme here, black and white t-shirt which cost £5.99. I am a little bit obsessed with stripes, I find that its something that suits me and because of this I know it's something I can quickly put into a shopping basket or throw on if I'm rushing to get dressed. Again, like the jumper, I would wear this paired with either a skirt or some black skinny jeans or maybe some blue mom jeans and my adidas trainers to keep it casual. 

The last item is a white sleeveless cotton shirt with a polka dot pattern printed all over it, this cost £9.99. I ordered this for the basis of wearing it under jumpers or dresses to add that last little detail to the outfit, because of the pattern its different to my other plain shirts. This could also be worn in the summer months over a bikini and a pair of shorts too. 

I love Pull&Bear as the website has a little bit of everything you need, if I had a lot more money than I do I'd have most definitely bought the whole content of the website by now. The prices are affordable and of good quality which is something than I look for when buying clothes, I most certainly recommend. 

Street Style | Tyra Welch

One of the things I love the most about living in Manchester is the variety of locations that are available to do photoshoots, one of these being Castlefield. Second term has brought me and three of my lovely friends a group assignment of producing a fashion magazine. As a group we have to come up with an overall theme, write each and every article, plan everything from start to finish and of course shoot the photo's ourselves - today I was the photographer.

Tyra, a friend and member of the group, stepped up and offered to be the model for today's shoot and did such an amazing job (well done Ty if your reading). Out of luck we found a beautiful spot in Castlefield down by the riverside, the weather was on our side for once making the overall mood happy and calm...and a lot warmer. We decided to name our theme 'Urban Prints', which meant all three of us girls searched our wardrobe for outfits that would fit into our overall look. These photos will now be a feature spread in our magazine. 

Here are some of the photo's I took of Tyra, I thought I'd share them with you all. 

All images took on a Canon 700D. 

I'd love to know what you think. 

Oscars | Best Dressed

Every year, Vogue dedicates much time and effort delivering each and every 'look' that were worn by the talented Actors and Actresses who attend the annual celebration of the Academy Awards/Oscars. I too, like those at Vogue and everyone else in the world, gawk at how amazing the clothes are. There is nothing else to say other than take a look yourself below, here are some of my favourites. All images are from the Vogue website.

Brie Larson | Gucci

Jennifer Lawrence | Dior

Cate Blanchett | Armani Privé

Daisy Ridley | Chanel

Everyday Make-up

Everyday make-up is a general term that I describe three days of the week, those being the days that I attend university. Each of the three days is a 9’oclock start and these mornings usually consist of a massive rush around trying to get showered, have breakfast and get ready and so on. If my timetable was kind to me and gave me a later start to the day, I would spend a lot longer doing my make-up and would possibly mix it around. But, because I have to get up and out the flat, I have a simple everyday routine that I stick to with ease and use products that will not empty my bank account.

Foundation

I am a major sufferer with oily skin, a foundation that I’m not only loving but has been a saint to me is the Revlon Colorstay for Combination to Oily Skin in the shade Buff. It’s a very soft foundation which helps blend into the skin with no difficulty, the foundation is also build-able for a higher coverage which is good for patchy parts of my skin. I apply this with a Real Technique Expert Face Brush.

Concealer
The concealer I use is the Collection Ever Lasting Perfection in the shade Fair. A lot of people may agree with foundation, its covers everything and anything, it’s like my own little genie. Again, like the foundation, this formula is also very soft to the skin. I apply this with a Real Technique Contour Brush from the Core Collection range.

Eyebrows
On my eyebrows I use the Benefit Brows Zings in Medium, this was a product my auntie introduced to me years ago and since its been my go to, I couldn’t think of using anything different. What I very find useful are the two brushes and a pair of tweezers which come inside of the packaging, these can be used to apply the product.

Eyes
I apply a slight wash of a No7 Stay Perfect Eyeshadow in the shade Beach Shine. It gives a darker tone to the eyes but is complimented by the lipstick, with a thin layer it doesn't make the eyes look heavy. I apply this with a Real Technique Accent Brush and Base Shadow Brush both in the Starter Set. 

Powder
I then apply my powder, the one I’m using is the L’Oreal True Match Powder in Golden Ivory. This is a medium to high coverage and on days that I only wear concealer the powder helps cover sections the concealer may have missed.

Bronzer/Blush
The bronzer that I have been using for a while now is the Bourjois Delice de PoudreBronzing Powder in the shade Peaux Claires/Medianes 51. I apply this slightly into the crease of my cheekbones, around my temples and under my jaw line, just to create a slight definition. Nothing too drastic for 9am. I then take my Revlon Powder Blush in the shade Racy Rose and dust that lightly onto my cheek bones.

Lips

This product was a purchase over christmas, this being the Bourjois Rouge Edition Velvet Lipstick in the shade Nude-ist. I love this as it ties everything together and its a lovely matte finish, which isn't too drying either. 

Mascara
Finally, the mascara I have been using recently is the Maybelline Falsies Push Up Drama. I have the worst eyelashes in history, they do not lengthen or curl so it takes a very talented mascara to do the job, which this one does. Well done Maybelline.

That is my simple everyday make-up routine. Are there any products above that you’ve tried? Are there any that you would recommend? Let me know below (that rhymed).

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Take 5

I noted in my last post how I am a big sufferer with anxiety and stress, which many others will be too. A way that I personally deal with these little issues is to simply make time for just relaxing, so I thought I’d share five ways I spend time relaxing, in the routine I’d most likely do it in.

Taking a Shower

I currently live in student accommodation and because of this I sadly do not have a bath to lay in for hours on end, instead have a single shower cubicle. Nevertheless, I do find a hot shower just as relaxing as a bath, the difference being you have to stand for a bit longer, effort. With the winter season still among us, after a long day/walk home the cold can effect how we feel and I admit I always feel a little deflated in colder weather. Like a bath, the bathroom can be created for a relaxing mood by lighting some candles, putting on some music that I know I’ll enjoy and purchasing a shower lotion with relaxing scents such as lavender or rose. Stick the heating on and lay some comfy clothes on the radiator ready for when your finished and you’ll stay warm and cosy, I do this most nights.

Pamper

After taking a warming shower it’s nice to carry on that relaxing process, the best way I find to do this is to have a small pamper session with myself. This could be either painting my nails, face masks, moisturising and maybe even sorting out my eyebrows, eek. I’ve been lovely dark berry colours on my nails as it matches the darker shades of clothing I’ve wore throughout the autumnal and winter months, one I’ve wore for a long time is a Barry M varnish in the shade Berry Cosmo.

Reading

I have always been a lover of reading, something that was heavily influenced by my parents when I was younger, because I’m comforted by reading its something that calms me and takes any stressful and anxious thoughts to the back of my mind. I’ll read anything and everything, from magazines such as GQ or Elle to reading fiction as I can escape into a different world an author has created, I’d do this cuddled up into bed with a cup of tea or something herbal. At the minute I’m reading ‘The Versions of Us’ by Laura Barnett, if you’ve seen the film ‘Sliding Doors’ featuring Gwyneth Paltrow, the book has a similar theme.

TV/Film

Some nights I may not be in the mood to read, especially if I’ve had a heavy day of reading and writing assignments, nights like this I prefer to watch something. At the moment everyone has been talking about the popular Netflix documentary ‘Making A Murderer’, but I find it dangerous to watch at night, I know I wont sleep as I’ll be hooked watching it all night through, plus I find it way to tense, not relaxing in the slightest. Instead, I’ll watch something light hearted. What I’ve loved recently is watching the full series of ‘Sex and the City’ all the way from the beginning, even though I’ve probably seen it a 1000 times, but its something that I know I enjoy, like reading I’ll watch this with a warm beverage.

Herbal Tea’s

I’ve talked about how I drink tea whilst I read a book etc. When I’m not drinking typical English tea (Yorkshire Tea to be exact) I like to drink something herbal, one that I’ve enjoyed recently is the ‘Pukka: Night Time Tea’, it includes organic oat flower, lavender and limeflower. These ingredients are known to help settle the body down, ready for it to slip into a sleeping state. The tea does in fact help me relax further and makes me feel a whole lot sleepier, which is key when feeling anxious.

I hope that some of these five ways of relaxing help you to also relax. Do you relax differently, how?